What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former expectant self?

Like motherhood, pregnancy is different for everyone. Try not to compare and judge. And go easy on yourself.

What was your primary motivation for deciding to return (or not) to work? How early did you tell your employer?

I started a new job while in my first trimester, and I was very conflicted about how forthcoming to be during my interview. But it was so early in my pregnancy that I wasn’t ready to disclose to anyone yet, let alone a potential employer. After I was hired, I waited until 20 weeks before sharing my pregnancy — I was nervous my new team would resent that they’d brought me on only to learn I’d be heading out for maternity leave so soon. But they were remarkably gracious…maybe because they knew I was the right fit for the job long-term, or maybe because I was just lucky enough to work with really great people.

How much leave did you take, and how comfortable were you taking it?

I had 12 weeks off. Once I went back to work, I negotiated for a flex-day that I could work from home, and although I still had childcare (because it’s the only way to actually get work done!), I could at least indulge in a walk with my baby during lunch or get kisses in throughout the day. I also set really stringent boundaries with my colleagues–I was super-productive during work hours, and when I walked out the door, I turned my brain back to mommy mode.

How easy was it to put a childcare arrangement together and did it work for your family?

I was so fortunate to have a caregiver that I trusted fully. I was also so inspired by the many working moms in my network who were so passionate about their own businesses. That was part of why I launched Well Rounded NY, an online community for pregnancy and urban parenting. In order to leave your little ones every day, you have to love what you do, and with Well Rounded NY, I finally truly love what I do.

What was your biggest challenge going back to work?

Sleep. Unfortunately I didn’t even realize sleep was an indulgence before kids!

Fill in the blanks: As a working parent, I never expected ____ would be so hard and ____ would be so much easier!

I never expected that getting out the door in the morning would be so hard and letting go of my workday would be so much easier!

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