What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former, pre-child(ren) self?

Buy rechargeable batteries. That’s the Kurt Vonnegut version. Really: don’t be so nervous. We worried a lot about all the things we’d have to face and all the things we’d never do again. And it really wasn’t nearly as daunting as we’d imagined. You WILL be able to go to restaurants again and spend time with friends and even if you cut their fingernail wrong and they bleed, you’ll all survive. (Not that I ever did that. That was their mother’s job.)

How long did you take for paternity leave before heading back to work? What, if any, adjustments did you (or your workplace) make to your schedule after you became a father?

I didn’t take much leave at all. I’m mostly an independent contractor (with a few hours of shop time a week) so when I don’t work, I don’t make money. When my wife went back to work at 4 weeks, I just had to make sure the babies got to and from daycare every day. The first week was pretty hard, dropping them off with strangers, but for us, it was the only option.

Who was your biggest source of support in returning to work?

I don’t think I disappeared enough for anyone to think I needed support. Again, we just figured it out.

What was your biggest back-to-work post-baby challenge?

Paying for daycare and finding time to get everything done before picking them up. Anything to avoid grocery shopping with baby in tow.

What, if any, advice do you have for the private sector when it comes to making it easier for new parents to transition back to work after starting or expanding their family?

Just try to be a little more flexible. If they need to leave early one day, let them. If their baby is up early so it’s possible for them to come in early to make up time, allow that.

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