What is one piece of advice you wish you could offer your former expectant self?

Don’t go back to work so soon. Nothing work-related can possibly be as important as calm, distraction-free, early time to be with new baby. I went back after three weeks mostly due to pressure on myself, not from employer. I regret losing that calm, bonding time with my newborn so much. I wish I would have stayed home longer and hired a postpartum doula to help make our time together less stressful.

What was your primary motivation for deciding to return (or not) to work? How early did you tell your employer?

I was in graduate school and a non-profit consultant at the time, and I waited until I was three months pregnant.

How much leave did you take, and how comfortable were you taking it?

I only took three weeks off. I had planned to wait longer. Once I started back it was hard to slow down again. I wish I had tried to be less of a superwoman. I overestimated what I could reasonably do.

How easy was it to put a childcare arrangement together and did it work for your family?

We hired a housekeeper to come in once a week. It was great.

What was your biggest challenge going back to work?

My partner was good at caring for baby when I was gone, but in general, it felt hard and lonely. I had a child earlier than most people my age (late 20s) and I was working in consulting and in graduate school, so it was just a lot. And too soon.

Fill in the blanks: As a working parent, I never expected ____ would be so hard and ____ would be so much easier!

I never expected that so much time away from my son would be so hard, and that developing such a close bond and cooperative relationship would be so easy.

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