What was your primary motivation for deciding to return (or not) to work? How early did you tell your employer?

I find enormous personal value in working outside of the home for an organization I’m passionate about, so I always knew I wasn’t cut out for stay-at-home mommy-hood. With both pregnancies, I told my employer around the four-month mark. Before I had my first child, my job required me to commute 2+ hours a day. I loved the job, but hated having so little time with my son during the week. When he was 8 months old, I accepted my current job primarily to reduce my commute time. I love working for an organization that’s such an important part of the community in which I live. My kids will eventually attend Portland public schools, so it’s that much more important to me now as a new parent.

FOR MOMS: If you breastfed, was there a place for you to pump that met your needs and was conducive to your success? If you breastfed, how did you decide to continue? FOR DADS: What, if any, adjustments did you (or your workplace) make to your schedule after having a baby? Was it specific to your manager or larger, whole work culture?

I went back to work with my first child after 4 months and pumped for another 8 months. Both employers offered space and time to pump. The rooms weren’t anything to write home about, but they were clean, private, and had wi-fi so I could continue working during pump breaks, if necessary. With my second child, I am returning to work when my son is almost 4 months, and I will again plan to breastfeed until he’s a year old. My current employer continues to offer the space and time available, making my decision to exclusively offer breastmilk that much easier.

How much leave did you take, and how comfortable were you taking it?

I took 4 months off with my first and am doing the same with my second. I was very comfortable taking that time because I earned the vacation/sick/personal leave days (although I wish I didn’t have to use that time for parental leave, but that’s another story).

How easy was it to put a childcare arrangement together and did it work for your family?

We are lucky to live where I grew up, so my parents have been enormously helpful with our childcare needs. Additionally, we have the resources to afford a top-notch day care, so our kids get the best of both worlds: two days with grandparents and three days of day care.

When did the “new normal” set in for you?

I think the “new normal” set in after my first child turned 1. Now we’re in the process of adjusting to our true “new normal” with the birth of our second son.

What was your biggest challenge going back to work?

The biggest challenge in the beginning was feeling guilty about leaving my child for 9 hours a day. The guilt subsided when I realized how much he was getting out of our hybrid childcare arrangement. That guilt was then replaced with stress about whether I was pumping enough to meet the needs of my growing child.

Who was your biggest source of support in returning to work? What was your biggest pregnancy indulgence?

My biggest source of support is my husband. He’s always the level-headed, calm one. When I get overwhelmed, he listens and acknowledges those feelings, instead of brushing them aside as if it should all just magically be okay.

Fill in the blanks: As a working parent, I never expected ____ would be so hard and ____ would be so much easier!

As a working parent, I never expected leaving my kid each day would be so hard and finding our evening routine would be so much easier!

As a working parent, a bad day is when _____ and a good day is when _______.

As a working parent, a bad day is when I have to work in the evening instead of spending time with my kiddo. A good day is when I can leave work to pick up my kid from day care early.

OTHER STORIES YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN